I always enjoy The Apprentice on BBC One and not just for the obvious reasons of:

• Industrial strength eyebrow threading (and not just for the girls)
• Outrageous CV claims that would get laughed out of the first-look, pre-interview round in any genuine recruitment process
• Unprecedented incompetence levels in even the simplest of tasks which make Laurel & Hardy routines involving wallpapering and paste buckets look like polished professionals
• Lord Sugar’s gritty impression of a scowling walnut getting grittier and scowlier by the series

but also (more genuinely) for:

• The fantastic aerial photography as the camera swoops and pirouettes over the London skyline
• The high production values and use of music to build tension and emphasise the hilarity element of a candidate’s comical toil

After watching ten series now I still find it puzzling that we never see the PA’s lips (or even her mouth) move when she utters the weekly mantras “you can go through to the boardroom now” or “Lord Sugar will see you now”. This must be a budgetary issue. They probably got a voiceover artist to record the phrases once at the start of series 1 and they get reused in the soundtrack of each episode to save money by employing non-speaking-part actors. Good use of the licence fee.

Another thing which puzzles me is why they chose to stage Lord Sugar’s entry to the boardroom in the same style as the scene in Independence Day when Dr Oakun is possessed by the alien being he’s performing an autopsy on. Obviously Lord Sugar is not possessed by an alien when he enters the boardroom and he does so in a much less violent fashion than Dr Oakun’s appearance at the smoke-filled laboratory’s window. For once – maybe in the series finale –  I’d like to see him emerge and gasp “no peace” in a possessed entity-type voice just to see Nick and Karren’s reaction.

LS: “[splutter] Peace? No Peace! [bleurgh]”	Mr President: “Dr Oakun? Why are you looking at me all funny?”

There are also similarities between some of the programme elements and the 70s sitcom Are You Being Served?

Use of the Telephone

Lord Sugar’s stuttering technique when he calls the actor pretending to be his PA  is almost identical to Mr Grace’s vague, rambling telephone usage. Of course, LS does not have the need of a well-endowed nurse on resuscitation duty in case of cardiac arrest.

LS: “Could you… erm send in the candidates please”	Mr Grace: “Erm.. is that you Rumbold?”

Response-Reply

Just as it used to be at school (Teacher: “Good morning class” Class [mumbling in unison]: “Good morning Mr Savile”) for some strange reason the same ritual is played out every week in The Apprentice, as if it were a catchphrase from  “Are You Being Served?”. Unfortunately,  you’d be highly unlikely to hear Lord Sugar utter the immortal line “You’ve all done very well!”

Lord Sugar [with scary smile]: “Good morning” Candidates [mumbling in unison]: “Good morning Lord Sugar”	Mr Grace [feebly]: “You’ve all done very well!” All: [mumbling in unison]: “Thank-you Mr Grace!”